Well today Jose and I went to Children's for our fetal echo. I was registered as a patient, which was kind of funny. They took us into this room and explained how the day would go. We would first get a fetal echo by a sono technician and then Dr. Ikemba would be watching it on a monitor in the next room, then she would come in and take some pics herself. Everyone was so nice, especially since I work there. We went into the room for the echo and the bed was heated!! I was in heaven! The sono tech told us not to look into her facial expressions much because she always looks focused. After she did her thing for about 40 minutes, Dr. Ikemba came in and took some pics herself. She was so nice! Once we were done they took us into a room to talk "shop".
She explained the normal blood flow of a fetal heart in laymen terms for Jose and then told us that Baby Ismael has two small Ventricular Septal Defects (VSDs). This is what I had...only I had one large one. I immediately started crying. I couldn't help it. I guess the emotions took over. She was so nice to me and calmed me down, handed me some tissue, and let me compose myself. When the doctor was telling us this I looked at Jose and he looked shocked. I told him this is what I had. I couldn't help but feel guilty...like I caused this somehow. She of course read my mind and said this is nothing you did or didnt do. He has never once made me feel like this is my fault. We knew going into the baby making process that there was the possibility of having a child with a congenital heart defect since I had one. She then went on, on how this would work. We have two scenarios. The baby will be born and two weeks later we will bring him in to get an echocardiogram of the heart. Because his heart is so small it is hard to tell the exact location of the VSDs. If they are bigger than expected or close to his valve he will have surgery. If they are still small or not near the valve we will just watch him for signs of Congestive Heart Failure (CHF). He can live his whole life as normal and never need to have them repaired. He may never exhibit signs of CHF. If the second option happens he will just have to be followed yearly by a cardiologist and we will just watch for the typical signs of CHF (difficulty eating, sweating, increased work of breathing, failure to thrive). If the first option happens....then he will have to have surgery.
Well I told her and Jose when I have been praying for our child to be okay I asked God that if my child were to be born with a congenital heart defect let it be a VSD. It is the easiest heart defect to fix. She kind of laughed and agreed with me. It is usually just one surgery and boom you are fixed. Plus, we do have some of the best surgeons and nurses at Children's.
So....I am a basket of emotions. Once I looked at the big picture I was fine. Sometimes I just tear up and cry. Jose has been amazing. He is so positive and supportive and knows just the right things to say. The CVICU nurse in me says this is no big deal. Of all the stuff I see this is the easiest. The mother/human in me is absolutely devastated and sad. So please add us to your prayers. I know God would not give us anything we couldn't handle and because I know this I am at ease. I am still scared and worried but at ease.
I am now 20 weeks 1 day!
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