Since the baby came....

Well since the baby came life has definitely changed. I knew it would but man did it ever!! I dont think I was prepared for how hard it would be initially. I knew that motherhood would be hard, but I didnt know it would be this hard initially. The first few days after we came home from the hospital I slept a total of 4 hours! I was tired, emotional, and had some other problems associated with the delivery. I had no appetite and every time I would put something in my mouth I would gag. I cried all of the time and felt like a failure. I had lots of trouble with breastfeeding and the baby was losing weight so fast. We had to take him out every day to the doctor to make sure he was gaining and not losing weight. Plus we also met with a lactation consultant to help me out. My pediatrician's office is amazing! I chose a great doctor because without them and their support I dont think we would be where we are now.

I still cry at time and feel so overwhelmed, but life has gotten easier. Ipolito eats so much better and actually prefers the breast to the bottle. His sleep schedule is so erratic but manageable. There are still nights I dont get any sleep but in all it is slowly getting better. Everyone tells me to hang in there that it will get easier but will it?!

On another note, I have the MOST AMAZING husband! He has been my rock, my best friend, and the best father ever. He is so supportive and helpful. I could not have done this without him. He is so amazing. I thank God every night and morning and many other times throughout the day for him. I pray each and every person has someone as amazing as him in their lives.

Well, this is all for now. Hopefully I can make more entries as things get easier!

Ipolito is 1 month, 1 week, and 3 days!

My Birth Story

Well it all started a few days before Nov. 16...I had been waking up at 0530 each morning wide awake. This is so unlike me. I am a person who likes her sleep. Anyways, on the morning of Nov. 16 I woke up at 0530 and decided to eat a breakfast burrito my mom had made for me. I ended up going to lay back down about 0600. I finally went to sleep and was woke up at about 0645 when I felt this weird tightening feeling in my tummy and a pop. I didn't think anything of it and I remember thinking I wonder what that was. Then I kept laying there. Then about 10 min later I felt a horrendous contraction. I immediately thought...oh my the pop! I wonder if that was my water. I then realized that my pants were getting wet. I jumped out of bed and went to the bathroom where I pulled my pants down. Sure enough...my water was dripping down my legs. I was absolutely amazed.I woke up Jose, which was really hard, and told him I think my water broke. He was so out of it and just said, this is not the time to play! I told him I am not playing I think it broke! He said what?! I called the doctor and described to her what happened and she said it sounds like your water broke...go ahead and go to the hospital. I then told Jose and we both showered and put the finishing touches on the hospital bags. We stopped at Jack in the Box on the way for Jose and we pulled into the hospital about 0840. Right before we pulled in I felt a huge gush of fluid. This was not the best feeling in the world. I felt so dirty. They immediately walked me to a room had me change clothes and checked me. The nurse said my water had broke, it looks like you're having a baby today! I was dilated to a 4! I have to admit that hurt like hell when she would check me! I was told I could have an epidural or pain medicine whenever I wanted it. I was doing fine though without anything. I started having some regular contractions about that time... in my back! They hurt so bad...I finally gave in and asked for some pain medicine, but then decided to get the epidural instead. i got the epidural at 1030 and it was a piece of cake! It did not hurt at all! The pain relief was almost immediate! I was in heaven. The nurse came to check me about 1130 and I was at a 7 already. My doctor had also started pitocin shortly after the epidural was in. I ended up staying at 7 for a while. The pitocin kept going up too! Every time it would go up I would get shaky. Finally about 1515 I told the nurse that I felt like I had to poop. She checked me and said I was a 10! We waited for my doctor to come in and then I started pushing. I pushed for about 30 min and my doctor came in and was like what is taking so long. She determined I was not a 10 but an 8! So they increased the pitocin again! The doc also said the baby was sunny side up instead of down. So they kept moving me around to get him to turn over. By this time I was shaking uncontrolably! I think it was nerves and the fact that they kept increasing the pitocin. i was also very nauseous! I finally broke down and asked for something for the nausea. They gave me phenergan and that did the trick, but it also made me very sleepy. For the next two hours I was in and out only waking to try to push or turn over. About 1730 I started pushing again I was so out of it that I dont really remember anything. I do remember praying that I would come out of the funk so that I would be with it enough to remember the baby being born! About 7 pm my doctor came in and said that we had done everything we could...we were going to try a forceps delivery. All of a sudden there were a million people in the room! I mean out of no where there were lots of people. I remember her telling me to push and then hearing a big POP! I looked at Jose and said what was that?! He said oh no and looked like he was going to cry. The next thing you know I heard the most amazing sound...Ipolito crying! I was absolutely stunned. They put him on my belly and was so dirty, cute, and crying. As soon as they umbilical cord was cut they took him to assess him. The NICU was there because of his heart defect. They announced APGARS of 8 and 9! They then gave him to Jose to hold. He was/is the most cutest person I have ever seen in my life. Apparently I tore really really really bad. It took the doctor about an hour to sew me up. I had a bad 3-4th degree tear. The doctor later told me that the original plan was to use the forceps to turn him and then let me continue pushing. But as soon as she turned him my pushing was so strong and that was all he needed he came shooting on out! Ipolito was born at 1921, 6 lbs, 14 oz, 20 inches long.

Some other things. I had to have my epidural re-dosed (not re-done) 4 times because it kept wearing off. I had some really really bad back pains that were apparently caused by his position. My mom was so nervous too because I kept shaking. Jose was amazing throughout the whole experience. I got to hold the baby for about 20 min after I was all repaired and then didn't get to see my baby until 6 hours after he was born. So...I did not get to breastfeed him for all of that time.

I spent two days in the hospital. I was in pure pain all of the time and had a difficult time with breastfeeding. I still am. It has gotten better, but it is still challenging!

I had some other problems but I will have to tell you those on a personal level.

I will probably add more to this as I remember it so keep checking back.